Thursday, September 16, 2004

Coz I gotta have Faith.

1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : LOYALTY b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions
2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust
3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs
synonym see BELIEF
- in faith : without doubt or question : VERILY

Today is the beginning of the Jewish High Holidays which for those who don’t know is the holiest time of year. It’s a new year and a time to make resolutions for the coming year and to atone for your sins over the past year. For me it’s a time when I question my faith and the choices that I’ve made in my life. I think we’re all, no matter what race or religion, looking for that fulfillment and security that faith can provide. Faith doesn’t have to mean in G-d or religion. Perhaps it can be faith in oneself, in a friend, in a lover, in a relative, in political or social doctrines, etc. Which leads me to; what do I have faith in? I have a lot of faith in myself. I have the potential and capability to do and learn almost anything I set my mind to. That said, I feel I’ve lost a lot of my faith in the last two years. The faith I speak of now is mostly that which I had the most faith in, my family. I used to feel that the familial support and unity I had meant everything to me. Now I feel as if it’s mostly gone and I greatly miss it. I ache for it. Do I have faith in G-d and my religion? My best answer is some. I believe in a higher power and I do consider myself to be a proud Jewish woman. I would not be considered religious by any stretch. I feel a spiritual presence at times. I’m not convinced this presence is G-d in the traditional Judeo-Christian sense of the word. Organized religion does not figure prominently into my life. The synagogues are crowded during the High Holidays and full of people who don’t go during the rest of the year. I think sometimes and for some people it becomes just another opportunity to see and be seen. It’s a fashion show much like that Bar Mitzvah you went to last year and the wedding you’re going to in a few months. I’m not passing judgment on the entire community and structure. I just feel that this is too often the case. It’s an environment that I don’t get much out of and don’t like to be a part of. For me this is a time for introspection and meditation. L’Shana Tovah if the statement applies to you. Mostly though I urge you to question and challenge your faith just as I will be doing.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Michelle I’ve been looking for Spirituality related blogs and I came across yours on Coz I gotta have Faith. during my trawl, so I thought it would be polite to let you know about my visit. You are most welcome to come and visit me at Spirituality. I would also be happy to trade links with you if you are interested. Bye for now and have a nice day! Brother Roy.

11:45 PM  

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