Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Not quite farewell but we're getting close

7:40 am
My eyes open and look at the clock. Oh my god, I forgot to set my alarm and I’m supposed to be at work at 8 am. To say that I NEVER do that is a huge understatement. I can’t ever remember being late to work ever for anything. Obviously I had a rough night but whatever…like you never did?

8:52 am
I dash into work with my wet hair in a pony tail and sporting Birkenstocks and a Swiss Army messenger bag on a non casual Friday. Oh, the shame. No one said anything but I got some raised eyebrows and lengthy glances.

9:03 am
Me (picking up phone): Soon to be my former employer, Inc. this is Michelle
Mom: I just wanted to say hello. We’re on our way to the airport.
Me: OK, have a good time on your trip.
Mom: I guess this is it. This is the final countdown. One more week and you’ll be out of there.

I hang up the phone. You know how sometimes when your mind is not completely present where you are physically and chooses to go elsewhere? Well my mind was stuck on my mother’s last words and I’ve had the chorus of an appallingly bad late 80s song running through my head all day since; Europe, The Final Countdown. It doesn’t get much worse than that. No matter what I do I can’t escape it. I’ve put my ipod on and played completely different music. It doesn’t help. It’s taken on a life of its own and fueled my negativity all day. It’s been in the background of countless thoughts running through my mind:

1. Walking down the hall I pass by antagonizing bitchy co-worker. I smile and say “Good morning,” but inside I’m saying one more week and I won’t have to look at that peroxide train wreck with black roots you call hair anymore.

2. I have countless graphic design files for brochures and package labels that I designed and the company has produced on my hard drive. I’m not a graphic designer and this was never my job description. They just kind of got this work out of me as a bonus because I’m that good. So I decide I would enjoy it more if they couldn’t find these after I leave. I burn them on a CD and toss it into a very deep file. I forego moving them to the network. One more week and it won’t matter. Ha Ha.

3. About 3 weeks ago there was a huge scandal in the office. Someone who has yet to be identified was leaving their empty Sweet ‘N Low packets on the kitchen counter instead of throwing them away. Thankfully signs were made and emails were sent out to put an end to this debauchery and all returned to normal. This morning while making my daily green tea I left my empty Sweet ‘N Low packet on the counter instead of throwing it away just to irritate them. Not even twenty minutes later the Sweet ‘N Low police were back out trying to apprehend the culprit. They were unsuccessful. This brought me great joy.

I could go on further but you get the idea. I’m taking off Thursday and Friday to try and salvage some of the vacation time I’m getting screwed out of. Join me in hoping the song in my head will go away soon because if I have to spend my entire four day weekend singing The Final Countdown in my head I’m going to be even more irritable than I usually am.