An open letter to the woman who was in front of me at the License Bureau today.

I mean this in the nicest possible way. You completely ruined my lunch hour today and I didn’t get to accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish because you detained the clerk for a ridiculous amount of time. You complained about the vision test necessary to renew your license when judging by your score, it is people like you who make it vital that we have our vision tested every four years to ensure safe motorists. Your son, who had he not looked exactly like you I would have otherwise sworn was some kind of demon spawn, did not stop whining for the entire 12.7 minutes you detained the license bureau clerk. His nose was running and he had sticky lollipop on his face. I cannot possibly take even a wild guess at how long it had been on his face up until the point when our paths crossed at the license bureau. He stepped on my foot, didn’t apologize, and put a scuff on my really cute new shoes. I sincerely hope that it comes off later because I do not want to have to remember this incident, and that demon spawn, each time I look at my really cute new shoes. The clerk at the license bureau shared my sentiments regarding your departure which she acknowledged with a very pained look on her face followed by a reassuring smile as you walked out of the door. The only positive thing that transpired during my lunch hour was that I got to pick up a falafel at Pita + after the license bureau and we all know how much I like that. Have a good one.