I had this actual conversation around 2:45 this afternoon.

Me: Hello
Bridezilla in New York: Hi, it’s Bridezilla, what’s going on?
Me: Not too much, what’s up with you?
Bridezilla: I’m having a wedding crisis.
Me: Oh, what’s wrong now?
Bridezilla: I had to fire my wedding coordinator because she screwed up my invitations.
Me: That sucks, are they going to be able to fix them in time?
Bridezilla: The soon to be Mr. Bridezilla’s mother already went there, put a rush on them, and they’re ready this afternoon. They’re exactly what I wanted except for one HUGE problem.
Me: What’s that?
Bridezilla: I wanted the envelopes fully lined and they are only half lined!
Me: I swear to G-d that I won’t tip anyone off about the envelope lining, or lack thereof, and that everything will work out in the end. Not only that but I do truly believe that not one person who receives an invitation to your wedding will even notice that the envelopes are half lined instead of fully lined. Everything is going to be just fine.
Bridezilla: I just realized this whole conversation kind of makes me sound like such a whiny J.A.P.
Me: You just realized?

Have a nice weekend.